Ephesians 5:28. I learned that I don’t have to look out for myself. Ever again. That’s so awesome. I have the good pleasure of looking after her and loving her with everything. And in turn that same love and protection and life will be over me as well
On a positive note, I really did learn a lot from reading today. I think more than I’ve ever learned from sitting and reading my bible alone. And practical things too. I want to be close to Jesus. My heart was broken today for many reasons. All of the things I must have put him through being one of them. It’s so awful to have been so desensitized to things.. I won’t go back to where I’ve been. I have so much more than myself to take care of these days. I won’t ever overlook that again. I have the best dreams right in front of me
Slow day at school today.. Sat and read my Bible and prayed for what seemed like hours. Learning a lot. But I felt sick to my stomach all day and almost broke out crying twice.. I feel so broken. So awful. So angry at myself. Like I’m so stupid. I’m so full of guilt and I am utterly disgusted with everything.. With myself. I don’t know how I went from disgusted to numb to disgusted with myself so quickly. I am undeserving of all of the good in my life..